Dr Owen Harper's Top Ten Torchwood Moments
by CelticInTheAU
Summary: My first in a series of characters top ten moments. We look at the best moments of Torchwood involving Owen Harper. Spoilers for all Episodes, rated T for themes.


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**Number 10: The alien spray**

Owen Harper had just tried to leave a bar in Cardiff with a beautiful woman, but little did he know that she had a partner.

Said woman's partner approached Owen on the street, and contemplated beating the scrawny guy up, but Owen removed what looked like a perfume bottle from his coat pocket.

Pointing it towards himself, he quickly muttered "Much easier", and sprayed the bottle towards his face twice. Almost at an instant, the girl's partner walked up to Owen and started snogging the face off of him. A minimal fight starts between the couple, and Owen quickly interjects, walking towards the street yelling "TAXI!"

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**Number 9: Pen Porn**

When first introduced to Gwen Cooper, or even first seen by her for that matter, Owen Harper had a pen in hand, and he kept fiddling with it, putting it in his mouth, sucking on it and even chewing it. That is why 'pen porn' is our number nine in the Top Ten Owen Harper Moments.

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**Number 8: Tearful Owen**

Owen approaches Jack in the Hub just after he has been revitalized.

"I'm…" Owen begins, but Jack quickly intervenes.

"I forgive you." Owen looks as if the waterworks may start soon, and Jack pulls him into his chest. Owen can be heard sobbing over the other side of the Hub, and the rest of the Torchwood team can't help but watch.

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**Number 7: Owen's in tears. Again**

Just snapping back into reality after messing with the 'Ghost Machine', a worried look appears on Owen's face. Gwen cannot run any faster towards the young man, and when she gets there, Owen begins to talk.

"She…She was so scared." Gwen then removes the device from his hands, and Owen starts to cry, trying as hard as he can not to show that he has been fazed by the events of the past five minutes.

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**Number 6: Corny Line**

Owen begins climbing up a ladder, when Gwen offers her hand to him. He takes it, and she lifts him out of the excavation pit with great ease.

"You're so light! You're like a girl!"

"I'm not light, I'm wiry." Is his immediate response, trying to sound as macho as possible.

"In fact, girls go mad for it. But I guess I don't need to tell you _that_." And with a suave smile, Gwen turns away giggling slightly until she notices Tosh watching her.

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Toshiko Sato has just entered the Hub, and has secured the mind-reading pendant around her neck. Owen is busy washing his hands, when suddenly Tosh can hear what he's thinking.

_What's she talking about? She can be dead weird. Wonder what she'd be like in bed. Catholic but great I bet._

Tosh looks away in slight shock, and Owen's thoughts tune into his latest antics with Gwen.

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**Number 4: Sarcasm…He does this a lot!**

Tosh approaches Owen whilst he is trying to do a post-mortem on a skeleton they found with a hole in its chest, right where the heart should go.

"Does this remind you of anything?" He asks, pointing to the skeleton before him.

"It looks like that bit in 'Alien' when that thing bursts out of John Curt."

"Oh I'm sorry, I should have been more specific. Does that remind you of anything _helpful_?"

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A pre-recorded video on a website.

"_Welcome to the number one supplier of Jellied Eels to Britain and Northern Europe. With a client base of more than 150 retailers, we're constantly looking to expand into new territories. If you're interested in becoming an affiliate or sales partner, please contact our office on the number below."_

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Remember that scene in the second episode of Torchwood where Carys strips Owen bare, handcuffs him and locks him inside one of the cells, later to be discovered by Gwen and Tosh, then commented on by Jack saying that "Owen really needs to work on those abs!"? Well, that's our Number Two moment!

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**Finally, the long awaited number 1: Owen's one liners!**

"This is Owen's voicemail. _Don't_ leave a message."

"Yeah, just ignore me Tosh. I can be such a wanker apparently."

To an angry boyfriend: "One day when you've grown up you'll realise that's what human beings do."

"No offence, P.C Cooper."

Jack: "Where the hell have you been?"  
Owen: "Walking."

"Not sweet cheeks? Freckles? New Girl?"

Owen: "I hate the countryside. It's dirty, it's unhygienic, and what is that smell?"  
Gwen: "That would be grass."  
Owen: "It's disgusting."

"Sorry, did you say camp?"

"Yeah, a very girly man."

Tosh: "Need a hand getting it up Owen?"  
Owen: "If I did, I wouldn't ask you!"

"Keep looking at the skeleton. Don't look at her. You're grinning."

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**_Just to Recap:_**

10: The Alien Spray

9: Pen Porn

8: Tearful Owen

7: Owen in tears. Again

6: Corny Line

5: Owen and his wandering mind

4: Sarcasm…He does this a lot!!

3: Jellied Eels?!!

2: Naked Owen

1: Owen's one Liners

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**I hope you enjoyed this fic. Please Read and Review!**


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